BrieSearch Subject : Eric Balfour

Welcome everyone. My guest today is wildly talented, equally interesting and has had a diverse career spanning many years and genres of the entertainment industry. He and I have been through some harrowing experiences together and either because of or in spite of those experiences he remains one of my favorite people. I am so happy to welcome my dear friend Eric Balfour to the podcast. 

Wow! Wow thank you that was such a lovely introduction. I actually was concerned that you Thought you were recording someone else when you said wildly talented.  Oh s*** she must think she is scheduled with someone else for today. 

Oh yeah that's who I scheduled for tomorrow sorry

yeah no!

Haha yeah I mean there’s this guy. Eric. 

yeah yeah yeah that guy! Thanks man. You know it's so funny. I feel like I don't know about you but you mention these harrowing experiences that we went through, you know obviously the biggest one which I'm not going to say the name because the producers of that movie that Im not going to mention are trigger-happy and like to threatened to sue people but basically we I haven't really gotten to talk to anybody about it at all. 

I havent talked about it either 

Because It just got so crazy so can I kind of tell the story a little bit

please

 I got hired to direct a movie and I didn't really know the producers or the people involved and magically Brie who i had done this other project with as an actor happened to be the upm on this movie and I was so excited I was like oh my God this is going to be amazing and we were - I think you equally were so excited We were like this is going to be so fun.

 oh yeah.

 Well turns out the writer and the star of the movie who is one in the same and one of the producers is batshit crazy. the other producers. except for the ones who got fired and We no longer had access to and the financiers who were the writer actor producers buddy Buddies were batshit crazy so there we were with just the most insane I mean honestly like not good people it felt like in a lot of ways so it was wild And I still look back on it with the Fondest Memories because besides them I actually Had the best f****** time directing that. I still look at the videos of like 2 o'clock in the morning in a weird place in simi valley and we're like dancing and like there were elements That were so fun and so great and all in all I'm so happy it happened but it was it was really hard When we finish the movie and we got into the editing room basically because the writer actor producer had no ability to collaborate or let go 

to separate himself any of those titles

 and the producers have no ability to control him they basically pushed me out and I couldn't finish editing the movie I directed. not that long ago and actually before quarantine was like.  I'm sure people will think it was during quarantine cuz it's like What else do you watch, but I finally did watch the movie Did you ever watch it?

I've never seen it no

So I actually finally watched it. And it was interesting because there was they did some additional photography afterwards 

I heard

 amazingly they just kept spending money I was like oh my God If they had been willing to give that money to me to use towards making the movie 

if we had had the original budget that movie be ended up costing at the beginning it would have been a completely different Experience

 oh yeah we wouldn't have been having to defend the fact that there's golf courses they wanted weren't really golf courses cuz we like 

exactly 

We can't afford a golf course what do you want us to do?

 you gave us $8

So I watched it. it was hard on one hand Let me start with the good some of the footage they got was good they did a bunch of VFX towards the end of the movie that really helped a lot some really great stuff and there were even sadly some of the things that I  cut out of the movie in my cut that they put back in even a couple of those I thought that they put back in then there were other things where just a note to filmmakers and writers if your voice over is literally describing what the person in the scene is doing You don't need that voice over

 that's unnecessary

That part was painful because the movie starts and Literally the dude's Voice who is the bane of my existence it doesn't stop for an hour and a half It was just wall-to-wall talking and yeah they put in a lot of stuff that like That didn't work we didn't need that doesn't move the story along why did you do that and structurally there were things that they wouldn't acquiesce on

So it's basically just like an audiobook of him reading the script And people acting it out on screen

 Primarily

 but there were other things that I saw I saw shots that our DP put together that were gorgeous and things that I know that we did on a little baby budget that were so cool and fun and things that I was like aw so it was really a cathartic experience but it was an interesting experience because I was far enough removed from being angry at these people 

yeah you needed that time away 

that I can actually watch and say it wasn't so bad it could have been a lot better but it wasn't so bad 

I also think it's hard for us and for you to have any kind of perspective when you know what you got you know what could have been and you know I got something better than that or there was this other part but you know what I mean like for somebody who didn't know what was available to them it may have cut together fine but for us who sat through the entire you know shoot where we were like I I know that there were other options it's hard to not want to like piece them in your brain 

100 percent so that is how Brie and I got here that's how you and I know each other and Hopefully we do it again 

Yes hopefully in much better experiences or better scenarios but I agree the fact that like I always I always kind of start with How did our our paths cross What are our things in common what brought us together  and one and a couple projects that we've worked on were some of the most difficult projects that I've ever worked on it and it's a huge Testament to my memories and my experience with you. Like I still like you were saying I still have positive vibes positive feelings and like  happy Memories surrounding even what was a really tough experience surrounding you and surrounding our friendship and surrounding you know like when I think back on it I'm like  oh man that was really tough but Eric and I had some really good times I'm thinking of you know times like your contact picture in my phone is you like hanging through a window stuck somewhere like out in the desert shooting one day and I was like we just had a good time and I think that I immediately remember bonding with you over like an authenticiy that I got from you and then I think you appreciated the same thing in me that I was like I can be a real and honest with you and I want you to do the same with me and I immediately like cling on to that kind of you know realness and I think we both had an excitement for the work that we wanted it to be as good as possible you know like a passion in a way and I think regardless of all the other s*** that was that was going on that we were dealing with I always came back to the authenticity and the excitement and the good times about like what we were what we were trying to do so I had more confidence in you than I had in the rest of the the process a lot of the time 

Which was I mean look I mean yeah I agree when people ask like you must be so bummed that they took your move away from you and I'm like bummed and all that but we had so much f****** fun we had so much f****** fun it was a blast and all the actors we got were so fun and some of them were just bizarre and weird and  great and I just like I loved all of that and then  I remember one day I just remembered talking like starting the day we were talking the crew and I remember getting like almost choked up  I just remember all these people are busting their asses for us and it was so cool so 

well I think that like that too, we were lucky in the fact that we were working with some really good people who appreciate it that you know that goes a long way with the crew who's out there in the desert for like hours and hours and hours every day and you know they're pushing themselves and then I think you could really really see the line between the people who weren't appreciative of that or Expected it or it's are treated differently and the people who didn't and I think we we really made a fam of the people that were like on the right side of that they're the right team and I I don't I just like It means something to people and and it influenced like that that job influenced how I chose to like proceed with my career after that being happy on sets and being happy at work being happy with the people you work with is what you're going to take home every night and that to me was was something that I was like I don't want to concede any longer to being you know not happy with the work that I do 

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if this whole thing is has taught us, and I mean I'm sure There are several people who it won't  teach anything but it's If it has taught us something it's time  for us it's time for us to get our perspective straight especially in our industry it is it's totally cool to be passionate about what you do and passionate about your art and at the same time if you are a director or an actor or producer or whatever and you are angry and attitudey and a pain in the ass in general It is totally unacceptable like we're not we're not doing anything important  It's Entertainment and it's great and it can change the world in many positive ways you know if you are you know making Blackfish and exposing  SeaWorld for torturing orcas or you know making Hotel Rwanda and teaching about genocide you know there's a couple exceptions but generally we are kids making pretend and at a certain point when you hear all the stories of all of the bad you've got to start to learn that this should be fun you know won the lottery if you get to do this job But that there's all that's all there is to it

Yep I agree whole I usually start this interview process by asking the guest to imagine we are in the most comfortable place having a chat you know Fireside where are we what are we drinking I know you're not a big drinker so and I can't drink yerba mate this late at night so I have hot tea that Drinking for you

I'm so I am I actually literally I'm sitting out on my patio with the fire pit going so I'm by the fire

lovely 

I am drinking because you're right I don't really drink but I have a root beer Because I love root beer So I'm ready to go

 nice I love that we kind of covered all of that already I love talking about how people come together but my biggest question and the one I start with everyone is who are you 

 f*** if I know

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Who am I here's who I am not I am not someone who is comfortable referring to myself in the third-person anytime I hear someone do that it literally makes me want to vomit in my mouth a little bit but I who am I I am in so many ways I'm still trying to figure that out I am someone who I want to I want to do good things in the world 

Good

 I find that I'm I'm I'm more happy and more fulfilled in and in some ways even from a selfish standpoint I realize now that there are people who there that the selfish part of their self gratification comes from many different things and some people want to be known for being really rich or for being really fancy or having a very certain type of car or house or lips or look and what I get off on I love the idea not only of making the world better for my son who will one day you know live in it but also I do I like the idea of being known for for helping do good things whether that be the ocean or the environment now as I have a child I want to do things to help  children more Whether it be music school programs 4 food making sure kids are fed but I get off on doesn't everyone everyone gets off on being known as a as as as a  saint or something right

And turned out that no that's not what everyone wants some people just want to be known for having a really good haircut or really good Style And I'm like okay I guess I never thought about it that way I think I'm hoping that's who I am i find that who I think I am is often different than what other people think I am who I am good and bad I'm often surprised by The View that other people have of me so  who I am I don't know man I'm still trying to figure that out 

I love it that's true

I do know one of the things I now know who I am I am a dad I love being a dad I love the the identity that that I've been able to embody in now it's such a cool being a father as an accessory it's such a good accessory it's better than any puppy or fame or a car Dad swag is really cool

Well you are already Flexin on husband swag before and now I feel like you just got the upgrade

 I think I'm a better dad than husband 

I don't know I think you are crushing that before and now you're just like next level

I think she might beg to differ but yeah I love I do love being a dad I think I had a strange relationship with my own Dad.  It's actually gotten better recently and I didn't talk to my dad for like 20 years and he's been coming around a little bit more and I'm enjoying getting not a - part of me I think maybe was rubbing it in See look at what a good dad I am I love my son and I kiss him and I hug him, dick. and now I just actually am Hoping he is enjoying seeing me be a good dad. To my son who is happy and flourishing

Well and that's something I wanted to talk about you had a very interesting and unique time growing up both you know culturally and family wise and tell me about where you're from and how it was different from I also think I had a lot to do with like because when I first met you I am not sure what my perception was but when I learned all these things about like you know the stuff that you're into and how you grew up and kind of like your values that you completely changed my perception so talk about that for a second

I grew up here in Southern California my parents also grew up here in Southern California my grandparents grew up in East LA in Boyle Heights and I was raised with  this reformed Jewish hippie mother and a father who was raised around Native American ceremonies and you know as Legend goes was running drugs for the Manson family before he knew you  who they were they were just cute girls and drugs it was pretty okay  until the bad stuff started to happen so we grew up on one hand Progressive liberal very spunky hippie Community my dad was not prepared to be a father he didn't really want to be a father I don't think at the time and  I haven't asked him that in a long time but the way it's been explained to me and he said it often enough he didn't want to be a dad at the time and to be fair to him I think that Viewpoint has changed now I think he's enjoying having a son and a grandson and a daughter  but growing up is hard in that regard with him cuz he didn't know how to vocalize that or control it but it came out as rage And anger and abuse but I have lovely these grandparents that I was primarily raised by and  lived with and then yeah it's like 15 years old I couldn't take being in the same house with my dad so I left and I spent several months almost an entire year living on the streets in Hollywood on being kind of a d****** thinking it was cool to be homeless and a runaway on the streets 20:00

which to be totally Frank and fair to the Situation I could have gone to my grandparents house who lived in Burbank who loved me I was not as downtrodden and as desolate as some of these kids who had nowhere to go I had plenty of places to go I was just I think it's a lesson about self damage I can't Think of the word I'm looking for There's a better word than self damage but you know when you feel bad about yourself you think you deserve bad things  when you're angry at your life when you feel hurt you do things to hurt yourself so out for me was like living on the streets was like see I deserve to be here and 

and this is where I belong. 

So through that I'm magically in that same yearnI got approached by these guys who said they were television producers and I was sure they were just giant pedophiles and it turns out they weren't they were the producers of a Disney Channel Show called Kids Incorporated and that became my first acting job and slowly but surely I started building a career over the next few years and it was very very slow the progression because I did that show I didn't have an agent or manager or anything like that and I was living you know basically on my own and then I was living at an apartment with friends then I was living at a girlfriend's house who was also an actress and living with her mother it was kind of a wild situation there and it wasn't until the next year I shot the television show for the Disney Channel and After 3 months of shooting I was like I'm going to go back to my life I guess but then they were like in nine months later they were going to do another season and I got approached by a manager of one of the other kids on the show we should really think you should go audition for this other thing that you get this pilot on ABC so then I did that and then all the sudden over the next I would say it was basically the next  4 years up until I was about 19 I started working a little bit I was still very much in a I was really weird looking like I'm still weird looking now but now it's morphed into like the way that Benicio del Toro but it's cool weird where I was when I was 16 it was just kind of awkward and this giant nose And this long face that I'm kind of ethnic looking and 

 but you are very tall were you that tall like even as a teenager  I imagine you just Sprouted up

 yeah I sprouted up And I didn't know what to do with my hair and it was this giant big thing on top of my head so those first who years the roles I was getting I was either getting awkward  kid roles or like kind of just like Highschool dick roles I didn't have a sweet All American looking face I had kind of ethnic multiracial face with a big nose it wasn't like all the sudden I was a working actor I was still trying to figure it out and but I I by the time I was about 20 I was certain this is what I wanted to do I have been studying with an acting coach named John Holma who I really loved and I was slowly but surely figuring out how I wanted to make this a career but it still wasn't paying enough and then at 25 the next few years I worked enough I was making enough that I could make a living for a 20 year old but I was making more money that you would by working at a bar or something maybe actually maybe not but I was surviving at it and then as I as I finally started coming into my own as more of an adult I got six feet under and then From six feet under That's where my career started becoming a real career and fortunately I've continued to just keep doing it until coronavirus finally now it's dead 

Until now

25:00

I mean do you think that being an actor for a lot of like your teenage formative years like limited your personal development or enhanced it 

No so interestingly I was I was I would say maybe a little different than I know other guys like me and other girls or other women like me who had a similar trajectory where they were sort of doing it but it Wasn't all-encompassing because even from the time I was 15 until I honestly 25 almost 24 25 I was doing it and making a living but I wasn't really famous and it wasn't all the time thing really 

but it's not like you were A produced like a child star kid who was out there doing it all the time

 yeah I didn't have like a stage mom And it wasn't that whole thing look my teenage years were spent in a going to a lot of parties I shouldn't have been at  getting in a lot of trouble hanging around people I shouldn't have and you know like except for the sort of strange La experience of it all having nothing really to do with the entertainment industry just the Oddity of Los Angeles I I was a pretty normal kid so no I didn't really have that thing like where I knew I knew those kids who like grew up as actors and sadly you know some of them are really close friends of mine I don't I don't mind talking about it but a buddy of mine named Jonathan Brandis who is child actor a very very famous child actor in movies that were built around him star hisv own television shows at 18 19 he was no longer that cute little boy sort of the competition around him you know rose up to his level there was more people competing against him And it was hard and subsequently that shift and change them led him to commit suicide and I think there are other factors you know going on with him personally but I do believe A big part of that had to do with the way that this industry and break your soul I think the really I think it's something that people don't talk about enough but it is it is such a strange thing cause you go to these you know as an actor you go and you know there are very few of us and even myself you know 2725

sometimes yeah you get offers for things but  especially today they want you to audition for things I think part of it's an ego thing They don't care if they know your work is just you know what they've now reached that point of they are in a position of power but you go in and can you being judged by not just your Talent are you tall enough are you too tall are you the right Colored Hair do you look like the other cast in that you different enough are you this are you that and so you constantly you are inviting you Are inviting scrutiny not based on your work ethic or your commitment or your tenacity You are inviting scrutiny based on things 

you can't control 

That you generally can't control so I know it people ask me people look at my son who I agree is the cutest f****** thing I've ever seen and they're like oh my God you should let him Model you should let him get an acting and I'm like never I will never because I think it is it you know I think it is such a dangerous industry in that regard that if you're not careful Don't get me wrong I'm not sitting here as someone who came out the other side it's done it to me. I mean it does it to me all the time and every time I end a series that I'm on or a movie ends I'm sure that was the last time I'll ever work again And I know lots of people we all think the same thing and it's not mass hysteria it's because of what this industry does to you to know that it's not like any other almost any other job Even in our industry you know there's a certain level of if you work hard pay your dues rise up you climb the ladder You reach you know even it's like being a doctor you want to be a doctor If you go to school take your test to get your license do your residency and you'll become a doctor are you the most famous doctor are you the most high paid doctor know you may not be but you will you will become a doctor and you will have a career as a doctor 

Right and no one's going to tell you to cut your hair or Look a certain way or that your eye color is wrong because you're the wrong kind of doctor 

Yeah but that's the challenge as an actor at some point people just maybe like yeah you don't have you no longer have a career as an actor so that is why for me over the last several years I started thinking more and more about how to make sure that I create a career for myself that was that was at least less dependent on other people giving me permission to have my career hence why I wanted to start directing and writing and producing I not to say that those jobs are any easier I guess my calculation was from Simply a I really do enjoy what we do in terms of making stories and telling stories but also at least if I had four or five different jobs at least I might increase my odds of being able to do one of them at any given time 

that's true that's true 

that was the thought process there

 so I have two questions that you kind of touched on both of them one what's something that you wish people understood about the entertainment industry either either as an actor or 

yeah well I think I did touch on one of them negative side the other thing that I don't know about the entertainment industry and that I would actually like people in the entertainment industry just think about more Is community you know I don't think we talk about enough that we need to support and help each other more there's a sort of stigma of people when they are out of work for a while being afraid to call the people they know and simply say hey I need a job can you can you write me a role can you see if there's somebody who will hire me as a upm or a makeup artist and I've asked my manager or agents and I'm like guys it's been a while can we Make a call and say Hey you loved Balfour can you give him a job and everybody's like no you can't do that you have to

 you have to go through all these Hoops of fire and jump through all these things first 

Yeah They're like no you can't do that you’ll sound desperate

 I am I'm telling you

 but why lots of other Industries when people go hey I need a job in there lots of Industry you know what you know we were hiring and  I need someone who can do this can you do this what you want to come do this figure out a role for you A job for you here we need someone to help even as an actor it would be so easy to say yes more often yeah oh you're having a hard time let me write him something or her something I can write them a three-episode Arc in my show or a part in my why don't we do that

 yeah yeah yeah 

why don't we don't do that enough I think there are people who do it really well you know until maybe like I'm I'm thinking too broadly but I look at guys like Seth Rogen I look at guys like Adam Sandler  who create these almost troops 

families 

families of their you know I mean I know I may be wrong I like Rob Schneider and all but I don't I would imagine that Rob Schneider sends Adam Sandler a gift basket every year to say thank you cuz that dude Adam Sandler always hooks that dude up and it's cool I love Seeing that type of stuff that I wish we saw more of it that's what I would like people to know about our industry or for people in our industry to maybe hear you know there's a way we can all help each other out  more often cuz you know we're not curing cancer 

and I also think it would take so much of the stress off of so many people depressed and anxious and there's all this competition between each other when really if you come from a place of yes you come from a place of help if you come from a place of generosity there's there's so much less animosity between actors or between production facilities are for you know all these things it would release so much of that tension to say hey man I I want to I want to transition to do this other job from doing this if you know me as this I would like to do this other thing do you have something I can come work on and it would breed a more kinder Community 

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absolutely I've tried to convince some of my actor friends of this and some of them are more receptive than others but I'm like look if 10 of us get together who all like each other and we just sit down and write something for a role for each of us in this thing and pool our resources We could make something really cool and that's how I think I would love to see people and I would start to collaborate more often I mean like I can't tell you how Many projects I've developed where I'm like there is not a role for anyone I know and love in this why am I doing i really started shifting in trying to think about projects about in that way like I wanted to project that I I work on that I'm just you know creating on my own to be about Things that are really personal to me and that I love and that be I can you know hopefully  create opportunities for the people that I care about and that was two goals 

I love that and I love the fact that I mean I was an actor for years and years and for so long I felt to your point earlier like I felt less than I felt like I had to cram myself into some kind of box I had to fit something else you know like I was told I had to be all of these other things to be acceptable when really like you just said like if you write a role or someone you know you collaborate with someone that makes a part for you that is based around who you are rather than trying to force yourself into something that that you're not it just makes it makes for better work for everyone make sure better production makes for better you know content is it makes you a better performer like we're all trying to cram ourselves into these things that we don't fit into 

Yeah a hundred percent  i agree

so the other thing that you touch on a little bit which was on my question list down the way is what's a lesson that you want Oli to learn that you had to learn the hard way 

I think about this one a lot the one that that is constantly hitting me and that I'm still trying to learn myself but that I want Oli to learn as I spent so much time waiting for something that I thought would define where I was in my life before I did something else you know I wasn't travel here until I went there on a job I wasn't Going to do this thing until I'd accomplished this and I I kept waiting even in the more  minutiae of it you know what you want to go out right now cuz I'm not working on anything and I feel like kind of like a loser and I don't really want it now it's not working 

right right right and then you put yourself into that cycle

 Yeah and I found that I spend so much time talking about I'm going to take this trip once I've done this and because of that you spend so much time worrying and I would I want Oli to learn is that a you are living your life right now every moment you are alive and breathing you are 3800

living your life and what you should be doing  is that going out to  do not wait for X to happen to you can do y if you want to do something to it and that's why I tell Other  artist and actors you want to  act right it shoot it You can shoot it with your iPhone there are love mics that can  Bluetooth  initiated that will go to your iPhone you can edit with an adobe $39 a month subscription Edit your movie and you can do it with your friends

 I want Oli to live in his life every moment and the other one I want him to understand that worrying about a problem will not change the outcome I do it so much I have spent so many nights not sleeping filled with anxiety feeling my whole body cuz I'm afraid of like oh when am I going to work again what if I run out of money In a year and I you know and I've looked I've been very lucky but I've managed to put myself in so much anxiety and fear over something going I've only got a years left the money left  but that's a long time  lots of people are living paycheck-to-paycheck but I'll built it up in my mind going so yeah I'm not going to work again for  I only have enough money to pay the bills for 12 months and then what am I going to do then  and then worried about created something to worry about for 12 months from now 

 you have created a problem that doesn't exist yet 

instead of it doesn't mean that you don't have to get up every day and Solve the problems of your life but I want him to know that worrying about what could happen in the unknown and the problem that don't exist yet aren't going to help him solve them and they aren't going to change the outcome inevitably when I ever I look back at you know whether be financial crisis his or her 4000

Health crisis is our work crisis after those things have come to pass I realize all the time I spent sitting in a room alone  going no I cannot I can't enjoy my friends or my family or the outdoors because I need to sit here and worry about this problem cuz that's the only way I'm going to solve it really did nothing and I just missed out on on all those elements of my life That is the lesson sort of A and B and I would really love to learn from my experience 

I love that that is very true and and very valuable and kind of applies set to not only work in life and money but likes relationships and you know education and what you want to do with your career how you want to to move forward it's all those things that if I could get back all the hours that I spent worrying and crying about something that ended up not mattering you know I would have half my life  left you know

 what I also would I so much about you and then I know that you came through a long struggle of finding this in yourself I want to know how has like mental health become a priority for you and how it's changed like how you connect with other people 

 it's interesting I definitely  I am still awork in progress because I'm not I'm not my wife will tell you and my mother will tell you and probably most my friends will tell you  I don't have the best mental health I am I am a worryaholic I don't always do a great job of expressing myself I I try to stay amenable and rational and reasonable to a flaw to the point where some time that ends up sort of coming out as a burst of anger and rage  I blow up at things because I said of just being  able to confront them in the moment I'm like oh that's cool and instead of a little more  finding a little more balanced in that I will I will bottle it and bottle it and then my car and I want to smash into a wall but yeah I definitely I'm still working on all the time

 I think I think it's becoming aware of it within yourself and like realizing the struggle that other people are going through like becoming just just taking yourself and your own emotions like a step out of the equation is is one of the most valuable things for me that I've learned over the past few years is like you're talking about with your parents or or you know holding other people to a standard that's that's not that's your own brain taking yourself out of that becoming self-aware of you know my issues there issues what makes people tick it just makes it calmer and clearer, for me when I can like take myself out of it. 

Certainly that's something you know and I remember I had somebody in my life who actually really would be the Catalyst for part of this with voice starting to think about how other people were doing you know it's really easy to your Viewpoint it in from your perspective but it really does change everything when when you know you start to Go well how are you doing and I wasn't always get it that I was in a relationship with somebody who you know you are really shity but asking me how I'm doing I had to learn that really made life more interesting once I got outside of wanting to talk about me or my problems or even what I'm doing I was found that life was much more fun and a lot less you know and a lot easier by saying will tell me about you where are you from what's going on it was so much more interesting and it also allows you to realize that oh maybe that person is being short today cuz is there something going on with them he's got something they're not telling me that's going on in their life that's making them stressed out or and and you know it turns out everybody does everybody does like everybody everybody i had somebody in my life every once in awhile they stay like to use the phrase like you have no idea how hard my life is and my response is usually everybody's is that doesn't give any of us the right to be shity we are all going through something Rich or poor and don't get me wrong there are those of us who are are having easier and life is not as much of a struggle that a doesn't mean that your perspective in your reality  isn't real it is not fair for somebody with two broken legs to say to somebody who just broke their leg oh you don't know what pain is very real.  the person who just their leg is going through a real pain it may not be bad as two broken legs but it still pain no one has the right to say oh Well you shouldn't be sad you don't have the right to be sad your life is great everybody has their own thing and at the same time sometimes it's really worth it just like check yourself and be like I am going through this pandemic with my wife and my baby and we have a front yard to play in and we you know there are people who are inside of apartments with no balconies even maybe and they don't have anyone in that apartment with them there alone and you don't you know like and they don't have enough money in the bank to go like well okay I'm going to ride this out no big deal like they are freaking out and can't get through to unemployment people Can't get through to the PPP loan people and it's f****** terrifying and the more we look around and remind ourselves of all of those other perspectives I don't know if it's so much important if it's so important that we like it  but it makes us grateful cuz that's fine that's good but I think it's more important that it being able to have empathy for those struggling more difference I mean It's great to be grateful it's wonderful appreciate what you have but gratitude I feel like in being externalized is really about having empathy if you can be grateful for what you have then you really need to emphasize for the people who don't 

Right and it's not about discounting your own emotions are your own reactions it's about including other people's emotions are reactions and validating them in addition it's not like discounting will you can't feel this way or I don't understand why you could feel this way it's saying you have those emotions and your you have a right to have them even though I am not experiencing them with you you know what I mean 

totally totally

so I know Nature's a big thing for me and for you as well and the beach and Venice and especially during all of these stressful times what do you do to feel existential what do you do to self soothe 

well you know honestly I'm lucky  I have this beautiful little being who makes it so easy to get out of my own head and my own s*** 

 Coconut

 yes coconut too she's the best but between her and and Oliver you know there's not a lot of room to not you know erin and I my wife and I you know we can get on each others nerves and I've definitely been a dick and I've gotten mad at her and it's hard to stay in some Of that very long because you have this little beautiful being who just wants joy and attention and play and you can be grumpy and pissed off that you're losing you know jobs and then you know you're worried about this but then you just for me is playing with him I mean honestly I'm so grateful  he has been the best medicine  and honestly shout out to all the parents out there because having a an infant in quarantine is  nucking futs  and mine I mean he gets up at 6 and he doesn't stop until 7:30 when he goes to bed  just once to rage all that which I love about him all day but yeah so for me right now honestly like sitting out in the yard and  staring up trees and you know like that's been the best medicine ever I'm really grateful for that 

what are you doing to stay creative and connected what do you do to feel productive during this during this quarantine 

so again the dad thing the parenting thing right now because it is pretty all-encompassing it's very hard to do anything else when you don't have like a nanny or something helping like you in  especially with a one-and-a-half-year-old cuz even if he wants like wanted to watch a movie like that only holds as attention by 15 minutes but you know all the people who like are busting on everybody like if you don't come out of quarantine with a new skill or your screenplay written or you're like you are Failing at quarantine life like I'm like you really do not have children I first from the  when this happened I wasn't feeling very creative at all I was like you this is f***** up I want to I want to be close to my family I don't really want to I don't know  I don't have anything at the moment  and slowly but surely and it's funny because my perspective has changed a lot becoming a father I used to be I used to be more creative I used to be more hungry to just create for the sake of creation  I would develop projects with all these different people with all these different genres just throwing shade against the wall I'm now much more picky because I don't really not. I don't care I don't have the time I  value my time with with all  Oliver so much that if I'm going to spend time doing something else that I am like obsessed with and so I do have a couple of projects like that that I am  obsessed with that we are working very hard and so I can know we're writing those and talking about those and honestly like creativity has been a lot about you know trying to figure out ways to entertain a 20 month that is one of the most creative things I've ever done because you know again we're really lucky we have a yard for playing you know the plastic slide 

It's only interesting for so long

 right it's only Interesting for so long and then like we can go for walks in the neighborhood but they're stressful because you don't want him touching everything he wants to touch So creativity is spend a lot of time play  figuring out how to keep him happy and you know it yeah I've been way more particular about what I put energy into

what are you looking forward to this is over or down the line but what's on your bucket list 

5300

what I am looking forward to most is the inauguration of President Joe Biden and vice-president Stacey Abrams Elizabeth Warren who don't think it will be her because I think we really need her in the Senate who whoever that bad ass woman is going to be president in a few years when it's time for Joe to hang up his gloves and I'm excited about That and getting out and helping campaign for all of these senators and all of the states that are going to take back the Senate from these horrible evil Republican Senators  that's what I'm looking forward to

 I love that it's a scary time and well I mean scary time for a lot of reasons but that's that's something I'm looking forward to it as well and to see kind of how this this whole pandemic changes politics I think it's interesting to have watched this and seen how people's priorities shift 

you know I think people are starting to realize what having a competent government Means and how necessary is that's one of the things we're Joe Biden may not have been your first choice but and that's fine but what people are not considering is the level of fundamental morons that came along with Donald Trump because Donald Trump is a moron he literally got the bottom of the Barrel in his cabinet and it's only it's actually gotten worse over the last three years as he's fired people and they quit and realized this is untenable to work with him what we are going to get Uncle Joe You are going to get Beto O'Rourke Pete buttigieg who's one of the smartest motherfukers on the planet Andrew Yang f****** AOC 

All of them yeah Bernie all of them and

 you are going to have an Administration run by The most sincere smartest Progressive people on the planet who have a mission to make the world that we live in better and I am so excited for that I mean it is like a I'm not a big comic book person but I don't know what the ones with like the team of superheroes is  but is going to be a it is going to be such  badass team of smart Progressive people who want to change the world. I'm excited and I think Joe Biden understands that like Joe Biden's best asset is that he's smart enough to know I don't need to know the answer I just need to find the smartest person who does and I am just like a good director on a movie I am happy to take credit for other people's good ideas and he's willing to do that

 Exactly I'll put you in touch with who knows that answer you know as well as long as he can facilitate that connection I think that's so much more valuable than somebody who just talks out their ass and tries to make make up information as they go along 

 and convince people that they should ingest bleach

Drink Clorox

 yeah have a Clorox cocktail

 all right man lovely I'm excited for that as well where can people find you what can I help you connect create or do 

 so we have a couple more episodes This season of charmed left Fridays at 8 on the CW you should be watching Charmed and then my new show will air on Netflix someday when we get back to work which is called country comfort and it stars Katharine McPhee and it's awesome 

And I can't wait for people to see it and then if you're really bored and you want to hang out with me on Friday nights I'm actually doing an IG live show every Friday night at 8 p.m. Pacific Standard and it's kind of a call in advice show when you can Tune In live and I will pick people at random to answer their questions and give them advice or whatever topic they want and I am not screening the people that I'm inviting in at all it’s totally off-the-cuff and you never know what you're going to get it which is ultimately really stupid and dangerous

Exciting and dangerous

But also yeah kind of exciting so yeah tune into my Instagram live at Eric Balfour on Friday nights At 8 and come spend an hour with me

awesome I've enjoyed spending this hour with you thanks for chatting 

absolutely my friend I'm glad we got to connect finally even if it took a pandemic to do it

finally but yeah it's fine one of these days we'll see each other in person 

in the meantime wi hugs 

wi hugs.